"I'm going to die alone," Juri mutters, the words escaping his lips with a heavy sigh, his forehead meeting the table with a resonant clank.
Akito shoots him a meaningful glance from across the table, exhaling a sigh from his side. "Look, you're my buddy and everything, and I do feel sorry for you. But maybe it's... I don't know, high time you consider pulling yourself together, you know?"
"Why should I pull myself together when I've lost everything? I don't have anyone to love. Apparently, it doesn't matter what I do or do not do since it's all wrong anyway."
Akito shakes his head. "Isn't that a bit of an exaggeration?"
"I hate my life," Juri states flatly, ignoring Akito's words.
"Juri, this needs to stop."
Juri lifts his head a bit, making eye contact with Akito. Even with the background noise from the bar, they can talk without having to raise their voices over the table.
"I mean, seriously, dude," Akito continues, "You can be a bit dramatic at times, and that's fine, but you can't keep drowning in this negativity forever. There's more to life than that jerk. He wasn't worth your time."
"I get it, I do," Juri responds, his voice carrying the weariness. "But it's just hard, you know? The whole love and relationship thing feels like an elusive dream I can't reach. No matter how much I try."
"So the whole poly-thing was a totally out-of-question for him?"
"He didn't even give me a chance to explain," Juri grimaces at the memory. "I told him I don't want to end up cheating on him, but he said that I've basically done like that already if I've had any sexual or romantic thoughts about someone else but him."
"Uhuh," Akito hums, making a sympathetic expression. "I personally wouldn't be able to have several partners - if I could only get one first to begin with - but even my monogamous ass knows that's not how it works."
"Tell me about it," Juri utters another sigh. "So that's why I've decided to stop looking for anyone or even trying. I'll be better off as a forever sad single. Forever alone."
"I feel like we've had this same conversation before. Several times."
"No, but this time, I'm totally serious, and I'll make sure to keep my promise. It's time to stop looking for love or anything. No more men for me."
"Alright, if you say so," Akito says. "But hey, you sure you won't change your mind about coming to the party at least? It's just a casual house get-together, some friends and friends of friends. And you know how it goes! Good company, maybe hit somewhere to drink more afterward, and a bit of an afterparty in the club. It's going to be a blast. You should come!"
"I don't really feel like partying now," Juri sighs. "There's no any reason for that."
"Dude, there's no need for reason to party. It would help to show your nose outside more often and finally start living again. I mean, it's been three weeks since he called it off with you."
"I guess you're right," Juri finally concedes, offering a half-smile. "Maybe a night out could be what I need."
"That's the spirit!" Akito grins happily. "And who knows, you might even bump into someone interesting. Or just have a good time with friends, whatever feels right for you. Socializing is something that you need right now!"
"Most probably, it won't happen, but thanks for trying to cheer me up," Juri says.
*****
Juri regrets agreeing to Akito's invitation as he stands at the edge of the lively party, his eyes darting across the energetic crowd in the living room.
Laughter and spirited conversations fill the air, creating an atmosphere that, despite its vibrancy, makes Juri feel like a bit of an outsider because he's not part of that in any way.
In stark contrast to his somewhat confident character at work, Juri feels out of place in this kind of social scene. While he's good at giving polished presentations and navigating work discussions, engaging in casual chit-chat with strangers at a random party remains a skill that has eluded him to this day.
Observing from a distance, Juri notices Akito effortlessly moving between different groups, seamlessly blending into the lively conversations. He can't help but marvel at Akito's social ease and how he connects effortlessly with all kinds of people. It probably helps that most of the people here are Akito's friends from before, but still. The contrast highlights Juri's own struggle, intensifying the feeling of not fitting.
It's like his relationships, he suddenly remembers, and the thought makes him a bit sad. He never seems to fit in - people don't understand him and keep judging him and his choices even though it wouldn't involve them in any way. More often than not, some feel like voicing their opinions and giving their comments, although Juri hasn't asked for them.
Juri sighs. His life is such a miserable thing.
As he surveys the crowd, it becomes evident that everyone else is more or less familiar with each other. Faces he vaguely recognizes from previous encounters flash by, but he can't seem to connect them with names. Juri feels like an outsider in a sea of shared histories and inside jokes.
The desire for something stronger than his beer tugs at Juri, prompting him to venture toward the corner of the kitchenette. A selection of alcohol bottles, free for the guests to make a drink of their own, lie on the counter.
Approaching the counter, Juri notices Akito deeply engaged in a conversation with a guy who doesn't look familiar. Juri doesn't pay too much attention to Akito and his companion as he contemplates his options among the bottles on the counter. Just as Juri reaches for a particular one to make himself a drink, Akito reaches him and wraps his arm around his shoulder, squeezing him in a friendly way.
"Hey buddy, you alright?"
"I guess," Juri mumbles, and Akito laughs heartily, patting Juri's back before turning his attention back to his companion.
Juri also turns to resume making his drink, casually pulling up his sleeves so that they won't get wet from the ice cubes.
"Hey, that's a cool watch you've got there!" a voice interjects.
Juri glances at his golden watch, purchased years ago, and then turns his attention to Akito's friend, offering a nod of appreciation. "Oh, thanks."
"Fancy watches or jewelry in general, huh? You've got some nice earrings too!"
The guy's friendly, low-toned voice piques Juri's interest, prompting him to take a closer look at him.
The guy exudes a summery vibe with his tanned skin, blonde highlights in his hair, and an outfit more suitable for a summer party than a late October gathering. Despite the cooler temperatures outside, the guy seems to carry a piece of summer with him.
A warm smile plays on the stranger's lips, and an unexpected twist occurs in Juri's stomach. This guy, he realizes, looks really really good.
The stranger's big, lively eyes radiate friendliness as they meet Juri's gaze. A hint of bristle on his face adds a touch of masculinity, complementing his overall handsome facial features.
"Oh, this crazy guy!" Akito chirps as he points at Juri. "He has tons of different necklace chains at home, and he thinks more is more! Sometimes he wears even four of them at once."
"Is that so?" the guy laughs. "Four necklaces at once? Now that's a commitment to accessorizing. I'm impressed."
Juri rolls his eyes playfully. "Hey, they each have their own significance. It's a personal statement."
Akito goes on with his teasing. "Sometimes he spends more time deciding which chains to wear than picking his outfits. It's a whole process, let me tell you!"
Akito's friend chuckles. "I like it. Makes a statement indeed, and you know what they say, accessories can make or break an outfit."
Juri grins. "Exactly! Someone gets it. Fashion is an art."
The doorbell rings, interrupting the flow of their banter. Akito excuses himself quickly and rushes towards the front door, leaving Juri alone with the new guy.
The guy turns his attention back to Juri with a friendly smile.
"So, what's the drink of the night?" he asks.
Juri glances at the array of bottles on the kitchenette counter, contemplating his options. "I was thinking of something a bit stronger than beer. Maybe a classic whiskey on the rocks."
"Whiskey, huh? I like your style. Mind making one for me too?"
"Sure thing. Whiskey on the rocks coming right up."
With a shared nod, Juri begins preparing the drinks. The stranger leans casually against the counter, silently watching as Juri adds big ice cubes into two glasses and pours whiskey from the bottle.
As Juri hands the drink to the guy, their fingers briefly brush. The stranger raises his glass in a silent toast, his eyes locked with Juri's.
"Cheers," he says. "To cool watches and good drinks."
Juri reciprocates the toast, a smirk playing on his lips. "Cheers to that."
"And to nice guys making drinks," the guy continues, and Juri could probably take that as some sort of flirtation if the guy wouldn't change the subject quickly. "I'm Morimoto Shintaro, by the way. Pleased to meet you."
Juri takes a better posture and makes a small polite bow. "Nice to meet you too. I'm Tanaka Juri. How old are you?"
"I just turned 25 this summer."
They get into a conversation, and Juri kind of forgets all his plans to leave early. He keeps sipping his drink as he listens to Shintaro explain his recent obsessions and hobbies wildly.
Juri's eyes light up when Shintaro mentions gaming.
"You're into gaming too?" Juri asks.
Shintaro nods. "Absolutely! Recently, I've been deep into online games, especially some FPSs, but I also like all those slow-paced sandbox games, such as Minecraft. What about you?"
Juri grins. "FPSs, party games, open-world RPG games, you name it."
"You just found yourself a new gaming buddy. We should team up sometime! Do you happen to play Fall Guys?"
They share a laugh as they delve into wild talks about their favorite games. Juri can't help but appreciate how effortlessly their humor meshes. It's been a while since this kind of stuff happened.
As Shintaro excuses himself to use the restroom, Juri takes advantage of the brief moment of solitude to check his social media on his phone.
He almost misses Akito coming to him. With a satisfied grin on Akito's face, he gives Juri a slight nudge on the arm.
"Enjoying your flirty times with Shintaro?" Akito asks.
Juri looks up from his phone. "What? Stop that shit, we're not flirting."
"Sure, sure. Whatever you say, Casanova."
"We were just discussing!"
"Discussing, huh?" Akito laughs, clearly still not convinced. "Just for your information, you've got more hearts in your eyes than a discount Valentine's Day chocolate box whenever he opened his mouth. I watched, and seriously, it was like witnessing a love-struck emoji in real life for an uncomfortably long time!"
Juri rolls his eyes, attempting to play off the situation. "Senpai, you're imagining things. We were just having a conversation. Besides, I thought you were the one who wanted me to socialize more."
"Socializing is one thing. Flirting with a guy you just met at a party is a whole different level. And hey, I'm not judging here. I'm just a bit surprised. Then again, Shintaro is a good guy."
"How do you know him, anyway?"
Akito grins, taking a sip of his drink before answering. "Ah, Shintaro and I go some time back. I met him about two years ago when I went on a diving trip to Ishigaki. We hit it off instantly, and we've been buddies since."
"In Ishigaki?" Juri raises an eyebrow. "I didn't know you were into diving."
Akito chuckles, nodding. "Yeah, it was a spontaneous decision. I needed a break, and Ishigaki seemed like the perfect escape. Shintaro was part of the diving group, and we just clicked. It turned out we shared many common interests, and our personalities kind of hit. It's too bad we haven't been hanging around that much lately, but I'm glad he decided to come today. No wonder you like him. He's a cool guy."
Before Juri is about to start protesting that he can't know after one discussion if he likes someone or not, Akito goes on.
"So what dirty details do you want to know about him?" he asks Juri.
"Stop, I don't want to know anything about him!"
"You sure?" Akito leans in closer and wiggles his eyebrows. "Not interested if he swings into our way in general? Or if he's taken or not?"
Juri sends him a stoic look and then sighs. "You can just tell me."
"I won't tell you anything before you ask that straight," Akito chirps. He always gets into this mood when he's tipsy, like he's right now.
"I'm not playing your games."
"Your loss," Akito shrugs playfully.
Juri utters another defeated sigh, realizing that Akito won't let this go too easily. "Fine, fine. Okay, care to tell me, is Shintaro available?"
Akito smirks, clearly pleased with Juri's surrender. "Well, lucky for you, he is. Single and ready to mingle, as they say."
"Don't phrase it like that. It sounds like a dating profile tagline."
Akito laughs heartily. "Oh, lighten up. It's just a bit of fun. But seriously, like I said, he's a good guy. You two seem to hit it off."
Juri rolls his eyes again, but another smile tugs at the corners of his lips because Akito's words give him weird hope. "Okay, senpai, you win. Just don't make it a big deal, alright?"
"I'll let you two have your privacy. Don't worry," Akito promises with a wink just before Shintaro returns.
Shintaro sends a confused look as Akito careers quickly beside him, giving him a quick reassuring pat on his shoulder.
"What's Akito up to?" Shintaro asks Juri with a nervous laugh.
"Don't ask. Too many drinks," Juri replies, handing Shintaro his glass back.
*****
As the night goes on, Akito gathers everyone's attention, announcing the plan to transition to an afterparty. The idea of continuing the celebration in a different setting sparks enthusiasm among the group, and the decision is made to kick things off with a round of drinks at a lounge-style bar in Nichome, with the possibility of hitting a club later.
Juri, feeling the lighthearted effects of the alcohol, immediately decides to tag along when Shintaro asks if he's joining as well. The initial hesitance he carried from the beginning of the party has dissipated, replaced by a sense of comfort in the company of these newfound friends.
The atmosphere at the first bar lounge is cozy. The group settles around a table that has several stools and a long couch arranged around it.
Juri chooses a spot next to Shintaro on the couch, and as soon as they've received their drinks, he can't help but enjoy the physical closeness.
Shintaro's friendly glances and the subtle brushes of his fingers on Juri's arm earlier have been quite clear silent indicators that physical gestures are welcome.
It causes an exciting twist in Juri's stomach as he thinks about it more. He's not a stranger to flirting or making a move on guys, but tonight has been more thrilling than usual. Something's in the air, and Juri can't tell what it is.
Laughter and chatter fill the air as the group engages in some conversation. Someone cracks a joke and unleashes a cascade of laughter that goes on around the whole group.
Juri finds himself bursting out into laughter among them. He pats Shintaro on the thigh, an automated reaction from him whenever he cracks up at something. Shintaro only smiles at that and pats Juri's thigh back.
As another joke gets told, Juri hides his face against Shintaro's shoulder, muffling his laughter. Juri can't help but notice the warmth and softness of Shintaro's neck. The subtle scent of sandalwood from Shintaro's cologne wafts into Juri's nose. Juri notices himself thinking that he'd really like to kiss that neck.
Shintaro doesn't seem bothered at all. Instead, when Juri distances his face away from Shintaro's shoulder, Shintaro simply gestures for Juri to keep his head resting against his shoulder.
Then he responds with another reassuring gesture, placing his hand on Juri's knee.
The lingering scent of Shintaro's cologne continues to fill Juri's senses, and as Shintaro tenderly squeezes his knee, an unexpected surge of energy courses through him. There's an electrifying charge, a playfully nervous undertone, coursing through Juri's veins. Even the slightest contact from Shintaro's fingertips acts as a catalyst, setting off a delightful storm within Juri, heightening his awareness of every point where their bodies connect, no matter how subtly.
They stay like that, ignoring Akito's grinning looks directed their way.
At some point, the group decides to go for more drinks, and a few guys excuse themselves for a smoke, leaving Shintaro and Juri alone.
"Well, it's just you and me now..." Shintaro's words cut through the music, spoken directly into Juri's ear.
"Yeah," Juri responds, his hand instinctively finding Shintaro's, their fingers intertwining effortlessly.
Shintaro subtly shifts his shoulder, silently prompting Juri to raise his head and turn his face towards him.
"I'd like to kiss you."
"Then what's stopping you?"
Juri curls his hand around the back of Shintaro's neck, a touch that comes effortlessly. His heart pounds so hard it reverberates through his fingers.
Shintaro maintains a steady gaze, meeting Juri's eyes.
They move even closer, both of them tilting their heads simultaneously, keeping their eyes open until the very last moment.
Shintaro's lips meet against Juri's with such hunger. Juri swallows Shintaro's relieved sigh, moving to take Shintaro's bottom lip between his own, eager to taste, keen to capture this moment and inspect every feeling it raises inside of him. He pokes out his tongue to trace Shintaro's bottom lip.
It's maybe the best first kiss Juri has ever experienced with anyone. It's far from perfect, of course, but it's still the best in all its tipsy incoordination and imperfection.
Juri pulls away first with a breathy giggle.
Shintaro's brown eyes are gleaming, his cheeks wonderfully flushed as Juri watches him and smoothes his face. He's so damn beautiful.
And before Shintaro can even inhale a full breath, Juri pulls him into another kiss.